[Hidden Artworks] 420 Steps: A Robot's Journey of Freedom, Transformation, and Limits

Some artworks transcend their physical form, inviting us into a narrative rich with symbolism, emotions, and deeply personal connections. My latest collage, tentatively titled "420 Steps," is one such piece. It combines a story of rebellion and limitations with a profoundly personal exploration of transformation, healing, and growth.

Synopsis: A robot decided to break with its programming and explore the world by taking 420 steps. It couldn't take any more, because changing its programming triggered its alarms and activated a protocol that would self-destruct shortly after taking 420 steps. Where its metallic steps touched the ground, a long journey began, for it would live eternally free if it never reached 420 steps, but at the same time, enslaved by that limit.

Elements: Cardboard, pug hairpins, straps, string, sweater clippings, jacket clippings, rose ring, bag handles, brush, odd circumference, silver foil, long chopsticks, red felt, pads, sachet clipping, glasses cloth, metal bow and cloak.

This work is not open for sale to the general public, but if you are interested, you can contact me privately.

The Story: A Mechanical Soul Seeking Freedom

"420 Steps" tells the story of a robot that decides to break free from its programming and explore the world. However, this act of defiance triggers a self-destruction protocol set to execute after exactly 420 steps. The robot’s journey becomes a metaphorical dance between freedom and limitation, forcing it to confront a profound dilemma: to live eternally free but limited to 420 steps, or to risk everything and self-destruct for a fleeting moment of unrestricted existence.

As I mentioned in a conversation with a user on Reddit, the number "420" holds multiple layers of meaning. On one hand, it’s a cultural reference tied to cannabis, but for me, it’s so much more than that—it’s deeply connected to someone who had a significant impact on my life. This person, someone I fell in love with, inspired me to return to art. She had a special connection to the world of 420, and though our relationship was intense and complex, the emotions it stirred became the foundation for my recent creative journey.

Within the robot’s narrative, the number "420" becomes more than just a symbol of rebellion or a nod to cannabis culture. It represents the bittersweet nature of freedom and limitation—a metaphor for how our experiences and relationships, no matter how joyful or painful, shape our paths and leave marks on us, just as the 420-step limit defines the robot’s journey.

The Pugs: A Gaze Full of Contrasts

One of the most striking features of the robot is its eyes, crafted from pug-shaped hairpins. These seemingly playful elements carry immense emotional weight and serve as a key focal point of the collage.

As I explained on Reddit, my decision to use pug-shaped hairpins for the robot's eyes came from an intuitive feeling. The moment I saw them, I knew they had to be the eyes of a creature, though I couldn’t initially articulate why. Upon reflection, I realized their expressions perfectly conveyed what I wanted: a profound contrast between aggression and vulnerability.

At first glance, the robot’s gaze appears intense, almost aggressive, as if it were in a trance or performing a ritual. But when you focus on the pugs’ expressions, you see something entirely different—innocence, sorrow, and even pain. It’s as if they’re trapped in a body they don’t identify with, caged and battling invisible chains. This duality mirrors the emotional complexity of the robot’s journey: outer strength concealing inner struggle, rebellion coexisting with entrapment.

This contrast is deeply personal to me, as it reflects my own emotions during a turbulent period in my life. The pugs’ gaze encapsulates what it means to feel lost yet determined, vulnerable yet strong—a powerful reflection of both the robot’s story and my own journey. Additionally, thinking about the person I fell in love with, the pugs also symbolize something she expressed: feeling trapped in a body she didn’t identify with, caged and fighting her own internal battles. These layers of meaning are intentional, as the pugs serve as a connection not just to my own experiences, but also to hers—making their interpretation diverse and deeply significant.

The Materials: Fragments of a Journey

The physical structure of the collage is composed of a variety of found materials, each chosen for its texture, symbolism, or practical use. The materials include cardboard, pug-shaped hairpins, straps, string, sweater clippings, jacket clippings, a rose-shaped ring, bag handles, a brush, an odd circumference, silver foil, long chopsticks, red felt, sanitary pads, a sachet clipping, glasses cloth, a metal bow, and a cloak.

Not all of these elements have hidden meanings or motivations—some were simply practical choices or inspired by intuition. For example, the cloak or poncho, while made from a scrap of a jacket my sister was about to discard after moving, has taken on multiple layers of interpretation. One might see it as a symbol of protection, a connection to the storytelling traditions rooted in Spanish culture, or even a religious reference, evoking the mantle of the Virgin Mary. Others might interpret it through the lens of shamanic or ritualistic themes, tied to altered states of consciousness or introspection—ideas that resonate with the robot’s trance-like gaze. Its flowing, patchwork-like appearance could also evoke elements of a hippie style, with its emphasis on freedom, individuality, and unconventional expression. Additionally, some might see in it a reflection of nomadic wanderers or pilgrims, a garment that embodies the themes of journeying and seeking. These layers of meaning are not fixed or explicit; instead, they form a tapestry of diffuse impressions woven into the collage, inviting viewers to explore their own interpretations.

The Creative Process: From Pain to Growth

The story of "420 Steps" is inseparable from my own journey of healing and transformation. After experiencing heartbreak through an intense and painful connection with a narcissistic person, I found myself overwhelmed by emotions like anger and sorrow. As I shared on Reddit, the circumstances were surreal and deeply personal, and though they may not have been as severe as what others have faced, they were profoundly impactful for me.

Returning to art became a way to process these emotions and transform them into something meaningful. Many of my works incorporate elements inspired by this person and the lessons I’ve learned from that connection. For example, the pugs' gaze reflects my feelings of being trapped and misunderstood during that time, while the robot’s journey mirrors my struggle to navigate the balance between freedom and limitation within the relationship.

Through time, creating art has helped me transform pain and anger into motivation and growth. The process itself is meditative and healing, allowing me to channel raw emotions into stories and images that resonate with others. I’ve also come to find peace in reflecting on these experiences, even as I continue to use them as creative fuel.

This journey is just beginning, and of course, I will continue with collage-making. I’ve recently finished a series titled "In Love with a Fruit", which explores the phases of narcissism and healing, culminating in themes of rebirth and growth. Each piece represents a step forward in my creative journey, and I’m excited for what’s to come.

Art has become my anchor—a way to explore the complexities of life, connect with others, and find meaning in every experience. For me, "420 Steps" is more than just a collage; it’s a testament to the transformative power of creativity, a bridge between past and future, and the beginning of a journey I hope to continue for the rest of my life.

To those who have supported me, whether by engaging with my work or through thoughtful conversations on platforms like Reddit, thank you. Your insights and encouragement mean more to me than I can express. This is just the beginning, and I can’t wait to see where this path leads.